Thursday, April 28, 2011


It's kind of hard to explain the feeling of numbness.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
You just feel.. there. But not really there.
Just a band-aid stuck to your skin, without pulling it off or even touching it.
But for me, the numbness comes after I rip the band-aid off.
Once I've torn it off, that's when the unexplainable

NUMB comes in.

But I like this feeling, for the moment.
Sometimes it makes things more bearable, you know?
Like there is still hope in this sea of sameness.
Things will go on, because
life goes on.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Summer reading.

I feel like a big kid.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I got my very own library card the other day! I decided that this summer, actually starting tomorrow, I am not going to waste away my life watching the television when I'm bored. (Seriously, you should see my DVR...) But I am going to start a summer reading list. I already picked up a book called "Paper Towns" and I am so excited.

Any good suggestions for books to read this summer? I'm open to anything.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

happy by nature.

It's such a beautiful place... to be with friends.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
This past weekend my best girl Dani and I went up to Bountiful for a bonfire. The view was amazing, and I wish I had brought my better camera to capture it. I realized after saying "Oh my GLORY. Oh my GOSH! Oh wow.." a million times, I must not get out much. Haha. This summer I'm going to be hiking so much. (not strenuous hikes of course, I'm taking babysteps, okay?)

P.s. To top the weekend off, I got to enjoy watching Harry Potter over and over again. And I apologize to the people I ran into at Walmart as I ran around looking for it the day it came out.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

If you're trying to turn me into something else, it's easy to see I'm not down with that.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

It's been a day of serious thinking, and after taking the long way (and I mean very long way) home tonight I feel I need to blog. Religion is a weird subject for me, and it has been for the past 2 1/2 years. Friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, and even people I don't know are constantly talking to me about the mormon church. Obviously that's because I live in Utah, and I'm mormon. But two and a half years ago I stopped going to church. I stopped following it blindly. I started thinking about WHY I was going. Was I going just because everyone else was? Yes. Was I even listening to what was being preached? Kind of. I was going about it all wrong.

Because of my change in the church-going, I've been asked a lot of questions these last couple years. You know what the hardest thing is? Trying to explain to a hardcore mormon that you don't agree with certain things in the mormon church. Trying to explain that the things going on in my head aren't the same things going on in theirs. Trying to get them to see you're point of view.

I believe in God. I believe that there's somebody there who answers prayers, and who gives us challenges in life so we can grow. I believe in service. I believe in quite a few things with the mormon church. I've seen friends and brothers serve LDS missions, and they work hard at it. But it still just doesn't change my thoughts on how unfair the church can be. Why are stupid, ignorant people praised because they're "religious", when kind, good-hearted people are judged just because they don't go to church? I guess I'm just at a point where I need to find some meaning. I believe that people should be judged based on how they treated others, and how they spread love. Tattoos and piercings? Come on, there are more important things to worry about than if someone has an extra piercing. What about those innocent animals that are getting slaughtered by the guy sitting next to you in church?

Life should be about love.