Dear followers,

I have made a new blog. Here it is. This blog has been lovely, and I'll probably still post now and then. But this new blog is a place I can focus my thoughts on the exploration of my mind. Go ahead, take a look, and follow! :) Hope to hear from you guys soon.

Love,
Adri

It's funny.

Sometimes we can convince ourselves that we live the most boring, unexciting lives. I'd just like to say I'm so grateful I bought a journal last summer. Looking through it tonight, I realized my life isn't so uneventful as I thought. Awkward conversations with famous people, last minute trips to Vegas to get over an exboyfriend, swimming in yucky lakes at midnight, hanging out with bands from California, and everything in between.

Life is beautiful.

Also, I realize I've been a terrible blogger this past year. I still love to write, I still love to read and be inspired by what all you great people have to say. I hope I'm not losing my lovely followers <3

Happy day.

Little miracles.

It's funny how you can go to sleep thinking the next day will be plain and ordinary. Just another Tuesday. But then for some reason, the stars align and the day ends up being a very, very big day.

I woke up with a text message this morning saying four of my biggest heroes were going to be in Utah Valley in an hour. I could barely eat my breakfast I was so excited!

So after some speedy driving, long distance running, and trying to catch my breath and act cool, this is what happened:

Duncan, Ben, Dave and Johnny are some of the nicest guys (and let's be honest, some of the cutest guys) I've ever met. If you haven't heard of their TV show, check it out here. Basically they had this amazing idea to go out and cross off a list of 100 things they want to accomplish before they die, and for everything they cross off on their list, they help a stranger cross something off on theirs. It was amazing to hear their stories of things they had gone through, like depression and anxiety, and then see where they are today: playing basketball with Obama. 

So today was good. And who knows, maybe tomorrow will be even better. But for now, I'll just cross off #37 on my bucket list:

#37 - Meet the boys from the Buried Life and let them know what I want to do before I die.

ho ho ho!

This is how my friends and I celebrate our excitement for the holidays.

After singing carols at the top of our lungs, asking the elf boy to sneak us more cookies, and speaking with the "one and only" Father Christmas himself, I was in a very happy mood. There's just something special about this time of year. It doesn't matter whether you celebrate Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, the 4th of July, or Decembertimes Day. At this special time of year, it's so nice to see everyone trying to be kind to one another. I see strangers go out of their way to do something nice for somebody. It's such a warm, special feeling that I wish we could feel every day.

So why not take this holiday season and remember the good feelings? Take them with you, share them with people all year long. Maybe one day we'll be saying "Happy holidays!" all year round.

Magic.

I smiled a lot today. I guess I just came to the realization of how many amazing people are in my life. I think that is something I need to realize more often. Whenever I'm feeling down, or worried, or sad about anything.. I just need to think about how many people I have by my side. It really can make all the difference in the world. I am so happy to have come across all these people, and animals (yes, my cat is one of my best friends haha). Think about your best friends. Where did you meet them? What if you hadn't been there that day, at that exact time, in that exact place? Maybe you would've never met them at all. Doesn't that just show how special a friendship is? Sometimes I struggle finding meaning in life, and purpose. But when I think about these special people.. I realize that there's some kind of magic in this world. It's beautiful.

You.

We all know how hard it is to face your fears. Something might be extremely frightening for someone, while it's not even a big deal for somebody else. I am feeling so inspired tonight after watching this for the 15th time:

Demi Lovato = hero. I've been a Demi fan since I was 16, and she's only gotten more and more amazing. Seriously, right? Such a brave girl!

The first time I heard her come out with the world about her issues, I was like "wow, it's like she's talking to me!" It really is important to talk about your issues with other people. These past two years I've dealt with terrible anxiety. A couple months ago I think I hit the darkest time in my life. A time of complete and utter lonesomeness. I was having this battle inside my own head against my own mind, and that to me is harder than any battle in the world. I felt like I was going crazy. I'm not writing this down for pity or sorrow or anything like that. I may not ever completely get rid of this anxiety, but at least I can be aware of it. I've learned that there are SO many people out there dealing with very similar things. My wish is to be able to help somebody else who may be at a low point in their life, and while doing that I can help myself.

We are all in this together, honestly. I am so touched by those who have helped me in my struggle, and I am so grateful for a life where I can learn new things everyday.

Be you. Find you. Be happy with that.

this is your time.

Look at you. You're young. And you're scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud as hell and dance to it. Go out for a drive at midnight and forget you have school the next day. Stop waiting for friday. Live now. Do it now. Take risks. Tell secrets. This life is yours.

When are you going to realize that you can do whatever you want?

Just remember: there are no set guidelines for life. All you can do is follow your heart.

how i created a happy day:

• woke up not too early, not too late.
• boy meets world (i decided i will not settle for love unless its like topanga and cory's)
• candy corn
• michelle branch
• date with puppy. we drove up to my favorite lookout spot and looked at the pretty autumn leaves.

• finished reading "perks of being a wallflower"
• gave my car a NEW tattoo. wassup john lennon!

• tomato soup
• wool socks

i love having days off work.

happy thoughts.

This past week I've been doing a lot of reminiscing with old friends. It's funny how I can remember a billion old memories but still can't remember an algebraic equation. In any case though, the memories are much more important to me than math, so I'm not complaining :)

First I was reminded of this time. And after tears were streaming down my face from laughing so hard, I found this video:

By that point I was rolling over singing Year 3000 and missing the good ol days when summer was among us and grass wasn't frosty.

It's okay though, I'll be seeing this and this in about a week. Holla!

rambling.

The truth is.. I don't know where I am. I don't know what things will be like in ten years, one year, or even one week. I'm a dreamer. I come up with goals and tasks and instantly want to complete them. I change my mind too often. I'm too softhearted with people who are mean. I give everyone a chance, a second chance, and sometimes even a third chance. I get myself into weird and awkward situations. I'm hopeful. I wish I could read minds, because for some reason that seems like the answer to everything. I feel like I'm being smart when I overanalyze things. Then I realize I'm being stupid. Sometimes I don't use good judgement, because I don't like to judge. And that creates another crazy situation.

But the thing is.. I know where I want to go. I'm dreaming of things that bring me happiness, dreams that are realistic. My mind runs a million miles an hour, but if it didn't I would be worried. I love thinking about earth, and people, and life. I don't care if people judge me. It makes me like my viewpoints on life even more. I give out too many chances, but if I didn't I'd be living a cautious life. And what's the fun in that? Life's just a big ol' inside joke anyway, right?

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It's a Mcfly day.

Some people run into the fire,

Some people hide their every desire...

Some people fight,

Some people fall.

Others pretend they don't care at all.

If you wanna fight, I'll stand right beside you.

The day that you fall, I'll be right behind you to pick up the pieces.

If you don't believe me, just look into my eyes.

Cause the heart never lies.

So basically, today has been a Mcfly day. If you haven't heard of them, or listened to them.. please do so. Mcfly will always be a remembrance of my teenage years. I love that I can listen to every song of theirs on my ipod and come up with a memory for every single one.

(Trust me, I tried it today and it was extremely easy.)

And this band never fails to put a smile on my face.

a little bit of love.

Oh man. I don't know what it is about Pretty Little Liars, but I just can't stop watching it. I haven't had an addiction to a television show since American Idol.. and I haven't even watched that since Simon left. So basically I'm in love. I'm in love with all the love-stories going on in it. Aria and the english teacher.. why can't that be my life?

Like I said, I'm a total romantic.

Also, this is my plan for next spring:

There's a program in Africa to help endangered elephants. It's kind of pricey, and it's two weeks with no air conditioning, but it'll totally be worth it. Just look at their precious faces.

It's true.

Ohh boy. I'm becoming horrible at keeping up with my blog! I guess it's a good thing though. This warm weather has been calling my name and I don't wanna be cooped up inside on my laptop.

So I've come to the conclusion that I am a total romantic. I spend way too much of my time watching chick flicks. And daydreaming. And telling my friends stories about how I want my "happy ending" to be. And daydreaming. And listening to lovey-dovey songs. And daydreaming.

I'm just hoping that chivalry is out there somewhere. I'm not settling for anything less than what I want. And that's that.

:) :) :)

To a new year :)

You know.. it's been one of those days. One of those days of REAL realization. (Am I allowed to say "real" and "realization" in the same sentence?) And maybe it's an odd coincidence that today was my 20th birthday. I've lived a whole entire TWO decades now. And I'm still realizing what people I should keep in my life, and the ones who I need to throw in the rubbish.

No, I didn't make a checklist of who's cool and who's not cool.

No, I didn't specifically tell anybody that they would be staying in my life or getting the heck out of it.

I just made a promise to myself, after I made a secret wish on my candles, that I would rid myself of the people who aren't making a positive impact on my life.

And it feels good.

If I could give anybody any piece of advice on how to live better.. it would be this:

Be friends with the people who make you happy.

Numb.

It's kind of hard to explain the feeling of numbness.

You just feel.. there. But not really there.

Just a band-aid stuck to your skin, without pulling it off or even touching it.

But for me, the numbness comes after I rip the band-aid off.

Once I've torn it off, that's when the unexplainable

NUMB comes in.

But I like this feeling, for the moment.

Sometimes it makes things more bearable, you know?

Like there is still hope in this sea of sameness.

Things will go on, because

life goes on.

Summer reading.

I feel like a big kid.

I got my very own library card the other day! I decided that this summer, actually starting tomorrow, I am not going to waste away my life watching the television when I'm bored. (Seriously, you should see my DVR...) But I am going to start a summer reading list. I already picked up a book called "Paper Towns" and I am so excited.

Any good suggestions for books to read this summer? I'm open to anything.

happy by nature.

It's such a beautiful place... to be with friends.

This past weekend my best girl Dani and I went up to Bountiful for a bonfire. The view was amazing, and I wish I had brought my better camera to capture it. I realized after saying "Oh my GLORY. Oh my GOSH! Oh wow.." a million times, I must not get out much. Haha. This summer I'm going to be hiking so much. (not strenuous hikes of course, I'm taking babysteps, okay?)

P.s. To top the weekend off, I got to enjoy watching Harry Potter over and over again. And I apologize to the people I ran into at Walmart as I ran around looking for it the day it came out.

If you're trying to turn me into something else, it's easy to see I'm not down with that.

It's been a day of serious thinking, and after taking the long way (and I mean very long way) home tonight I feel I need to blog. Religion is a weird subject for me, and it has been for the past 2 1/2 years. Friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, and even people I don't know are constantly talking to me about the mormon church. Obviously that's because I live in Utah, and I'm mormon. But two and a half years ago I stopped going to church. I stopped following it blindly. I started thinking about WHY I was going. Was I going just because everyone else was? Yes. Was I even listening to what was being preached? Kind of. I was going about it all wrong.

Because of my change in the church-going, I've been asked a lot of questions these last couple years. You know what the hardest thing is? Trying to explain to a hardcore mormon that you don't agree with certain things in the mormon church. Trying to explain that the things going on in my head aren't the same things going on in theirs. Trying to get them to see you're point of view.

I believe in God. I believe that there's somebody there who answers prayers, and who gives us challenges in life so we can grow. I believe in service. I believe in quite a few things with the mormon church. I've seen friends and brothers serve LDS missions, and they work hard at it. But it still just doesn't change my thoughts on how unfair the church can be. Why are stupid, ignorant people praised because they're "religious", when kind, good-hearted people are judged just because they don't go to church? I guess I'm just at a point where I need to find some meaning. I believe that people should be judged based on how they treated others, and how they spread love. Tattoos and piercings? Come on, there are more important things to worry about than if someone has an extra piercing. What about those innocent animals that are getting slaughtered by the guy sitting next to you in church?

Life should be about love.

goodbye washington, hello utah.

I'm back. (said in a russian tone) Seattle was incredible! The greatest adventure I've ever been on. Thank you to the Eborall's who were sweet enough to put up with me for a week. And thank you to Washington for entertaining me like a little girl in a candy shop.
Look at the cute colorful houses!
Entering the city.
The Experience Music museum. Soooo amazing. I had to pry myself out of there, hours later.
The view from the space needle.
On the ferry!

I must go back to my dreamland soon.

I'm just sayin.

I am a really awkward person. There's no way around it. Why else would all these awkward situations come into my life, every single day? They've become a part of me. And I think I'm okay with it. So watch out world...

my awkwardness is coming for ya.